We are at a crucial turning point in human history, where recovering embracing our feminine energy is perhaps the most important aspect of our evolutionary journey. The deeper purpose of this time is to bring the divine feminine back to her rightful place so that she can operate in partnership with the divine masculine.
However, the return and integration of the feminine into our lives is not just about rebalancing, but also requires purifying and healing the feminine energies within us and in our world. We need to recognise that our feminine energy has a wounded or shadow side that must be acknowledged and brought into the light if we are to navigate our personal evolution with discernment.
I call this shadow aspect the distorted feminine.
Let’s look at the meaning of the word distort: to twist out of a natural, normal, or original shape or condition (a face distorted by pain); also to cause to be perceived unnaturally (Merriam Webster Dictionary).
The distorted feminine is exactly this — an unnatural and twisted version of our true feminine nature that in this world actually competes with and subverts our true, authentic or natural feminine nature and attributes. Because the distorted feminine is so pervasive we can actually confuse the healthy and distorted energies and for this reason it is important to lay out clearly the difference between the two.
Here are some of the ways in which the distorted feminine shows up in our psyche (a Greek term to describe the Soul) and behaviours. These traits can show up in men and women alike.
6 Traits of the Distorted Feminine
1. Inner Emptiness
The distorted feminine is ultimately the traumatised part of our feminine self that has been separated from love and any genuine form of personal power. She is empty — hollowed out by her own suffering and invisibility. She has endured millennia of abuse, rape, a loss of status, respect, and even her rightful voice and role in society. Generations of not being loved, embraced, seen or heard by others have made her invisible to herself. She is the result of patriarchal trauma and affects the feminine aspects of us in different ways.
The distorted feminine cannot connect to or feel the beauty of her soul, or her presence. She has suffered soul loss and fragmentation. Being ultimately empty, she can only survive by draining the love and attention of others, however her empty cup will never be filled and her appetite and need for externally sourced energy is endless. George Kavassilas has coined the term the “Hollow Queen” to describe this archetype.
2. Outer Shows of Beauty
The distorted feminine is unable to connect to her inherent beauty and measures her value through her outward appearance. She invests heavily in making a display of her beauty in externalised forms. She Is obsessed by her make-up, hair and the latest trends. She literally pins these ephemeral forms of value to her body, trying to disguise her inner emptiness with glamour.
She is tricked by the synthetic and cruelly unattainable images of desirable womanhood that continually remind her of her inherent unworthiness. If she is not actively involved in creating this images then she slavishly tries to mimic them.
When the distorted feminine is unable to reach these impossible standards her fragile self esteem collapses in on itself, leading her to feel body hatred and unworthiness that lead to her engaging in self-harm (whether through eating disorders, addiction or brutal fitness regimes) as she batters her body into trying to attain a fake and manipulated perfection.
This aspect of the distorted feminine shows up for women across the board, but for the younger generation of women (the Instagram generation) particularly, the pressures of social media, digital image manipulation and web pornography make the pressure to conform to outer perfection unbearably heavy.
3. Obsession with Eternal Youth — Archetypal Immaturity
The distorted feminine is terrified of the physical process of ageing. She is unable to place value herself as a soul going through the sacred and natural cycles of life. She cannot psychologically integrate her natural evolution from the sexual potency of youth (the Maiden) into creative power and love (the Mother) and finally wisdom (the Crone).
She is obsessed with eternal youth, and all the possible means of attaining it, because her attention and obsession are on her external appearance only. The process of ageing only shows her her inner emptiness more starkly and cruelly. She employs all the ways and means to remain “forever young” provided by our society’s youth-obsessed culture, including plastic surgery, expensive creams, and botox injection that will to stave of the dreaded ageing process.
We can find countless examples among movie and music stars and other high profile women and men who regularly mutilate their bodies to fight against the effects of time on their faces and bodies to permanently embody the sexually alluring youth. Note that these are generally artificial and synthetic methods that cannot bring healing and rejuvenation to the human body, quite the reverse they are harmful.
4. Seduction & Bewitchment
The distorted feminine, feeling empty and unworthy of love, is genuinely terrified that her inner emptiness will be uncovered therefore cannot risk intimacy or vulnerability. She is, therefore the mistress of magic, seduction, glamour and guile. She projects a false and idealised image of herself into the world that literally bedazzles. This type of seduction is woven through the astral plane, often involving pineal-gland manipulation, mind control and entrapment.
When her victim “falls in love”, often at first sight, seeing her as the embodiment of perfect womanhood, she harvests the attention and energy of sexual obsession and idealised fantasising. Her victim will literally not be able to get her out of his head, and will experience obsessive and compulsive thoughts about her.
This state is often confused with genuine love feelings — and our media and music industry promote this version of sexual obsession and romantic fantasy as an idealised “love” state no end — see “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” by Kylie Minogue as a perfect example.
5. Vampirism & Co-dependency
The distorted feminine has a wounded and incomplete sense of her personal and sexual power. Her emptiness means that she needs to fill herself with the emotional and sexual energy of others. While seduction (above) is one way to bring in energy and attention to feed her being, she also thrives on sexual and emotional entanglement to gain much needed personal power and energy from others.
Often using the sexual act as way to open the energetic connection, she sends out energetic hooks from deep within her wounded or empty sexual energy centre, so that she can latch onto, feed from and ultimately control the emotional, sexual and creative energy of her mate. This creates deep energetic and emotional entanglement, where obsession, jealousy and co-dependence rule. The irony is that often the person who is being drained by her will think that the vampire is actually the person they need to “complete themselves” — a pervasive and toxic connect in itself.
The distorted feminine may create similar bonds through non-sexual relationships with friends, colleagues, children and even parents as a way to continually connect to and harvest the vital force of others.
Again, the co-dependent version of love is easily confused with “true love” in our society — listen to “Without You” by Mariah Carey for a classic song promoting the distorted feminine version of addicted love.
6. Competition & Patriarchal Status
The distorted feminine feels her emptiness so keenly she cannot perceive any self value in her uniqueness or individual expression. She can only measure her value through competition and comparison with regards to others.
She is seduced by the status, recognition, money and power offered by getting “to the top” of the patriarchal order of our modern day. She particular craves roles and positions that give her visibility and attention (which again feed her inner emptiness) — particularly in politics, performing arts, fashion and business.
To the outside observer she may be viewed as exemplar of modern-day feminism and a promoter of sexual equality. However, ironically, she is more often than not glamorizing and propagating the energy of the distorted feminine, be it glamour, or the quest for eternal youth.
In addition she does nothing to challenge the patriarchal order itself: she has simply become a part of the machine, taking roles and positions that have traditionally been occupied by her masculine counterparts. Therefore her overall effect in the world is to actually alienate herself and others from their natural feminine power and self love and personal sovereignty.
The distorted feminine hijacks our natural feminine power.
I am sure that by now, you will recognise that many of the “successes” and “role models” who occupy positions of visibility and power in our world, be it in politics, media, the performing arts and other fields are, to varying degrees, embodiments of the distorted feminine who thus promote this archetype as desirable and worthy of attaining.
You will also be aware that the corporate world, (and in particular the media and the fashion industry) bombards women and men with with images, messages and values that aggressively promote the distorted feminine as an archetype to be embodied — and this is a highly damaging form of mass mind control.
The distorted feminine shows up in conditions such as narcissism, co-dependency, body shame and eating disorders. Her mistaken ambition drives women and men to seek forms of status and and success that are hollow and unsatisfying. Her emptiness is at the core of the never ending quest for fullness that leads to addictions — be it to drugs, sex or money.
Huge amounts of our